Boy howdy, I love some silly sports team names, which are more often than not relegated to the less visible but no less important realms of small towns, small crowds, but big hearts. Let's find some, shall we? For this first episode: Minor League Baseball. Do these team names potentially have contextual significance? Probably! Does that make them less absolutely wild out of said context? Absolutely not.
It's worth noting that there are a lot of rad team logos in the minor leagues- honestly, they look like they're straight out of Backyard Baseball- but they're not always accompanied by a sick name. So for now, we will be excluding those, maybe save them for honorable mentions later on.
Binghampton Rumble Ponies
I'm using this collage because you should see the legitimately cool logo on the left, but infinitely more importantly, the humanoid, champion-belt-weidling, boxing-gloves-but-also-melee pony in the bottom right who is going to end your life. Did I know what a rumble pony was before this? No. But I do now, and I fear it.
Asheville Tourists
I have a soft spot for team names that fail to elicit even the smallest shred of intensity, dominance, or competition, and the Tourists get even more points for having a cool color scheme and an even cooler moon dude insignia. He's willing to sell you drugs, but only if you're ready.
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
It's not an iron pig, that would be a ridiculous- an IronPig is it's own creature. Yes, they are made of iron, yes they are sentient, and yes, if this picture from their website is to be believed, they have flesh.
Hartford Yard Goats
A goat would be a fine sports animal mascot. They're rugged animals who make due in harsh conditions, they have alpha-tendencies, they climb shit. Athletic mammals. But here, we have stripped away goats of their natural prowess and have delegated them as a yard pest, chewing away at the bats we left out on the lawn. And I love them for it.
Modesto Nuts
when u
New Orleans Baby Cakes
Baby... Cake.... baby is hatch from egg.... play baseball now??? help
Hillsboro Hops
Unlike the Tourist, the Hops want you to get fucked up as long as you're good for the money.
Brevard County Manatees
This manatee is the single greatest thing to happen to baseball. End of sentence. Look at the goddamn face.
Quad Cities River Bandits
This name fulfills so many of my greatest desires. Both the location and the team name are two words, both are PLURAL, and in fact, the first word is 4, so if I'm doing my math right... that's 4^2^2^2... this is 4,294,967,296 team names in one. And the river bandit is so goddamn cute. Also, the field they play on is like, on a barge?! IN the river?! That's cool as hell.
Montgomery Biscuits
I cannot
handle
this goddamn
biscuit and ITS DROOPY ELEPHANT FRIEND
Okay that's the end of chapter one. There are so many sweet logos I would proudly rep any day, but only so many gigs on the interwebs to contain them. Support local sports.
