Has anyone seen this horny, eldritch-horror abomination of a film? I catch myself continually amazed that it exists at all. It's an absolutely loaded cast, tons of money likely poured into the animation/CGI...but it's a total disaster. How did this get through the entire filmmaking process and without any major pushback? How could so many people in Hollywood think this was a good idea? I'm legitimately blown away
Cat's Movie
- 21 replies
- last reply by LordFarquaad April 7, 2020
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SwampetteTo me, it's not completely surprising. To understand why, though, you have to understand what Cats is, beyond grown men and women licking themselves and singing for three hours straight.
This is an excerpt from the Wiki article for the original musical:
Essentially, Cats is the Ben Hur of musicals. It is so big, over the top, and devoid of any real message that it has defined the industry since the 80s.
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Huh, I didn't realize Ben Hur was analogous to Cats in any way. We always watched the movie during the Christmas season too but damn that shit's 3 hours.
Also, even with such a high budget for Cats they really skimped on the CGI
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SwampetteSpot ON, Andrew Lloyd Webber truly represents the worst of musical theatre. The source material is already horrendous to begin with. I thank god that everyone at my theatre hates Cats, so hopefully I'll never have to work on this cursed show
He also wrote a musical about humanoid horny trains which is basically sexist Thomas the Train fanfic, so I guess it could have been worse.....?
Anyways I hate you Andrew Lloyd Webber like wtf is this shit www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywFbpDjpZno
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SwampetteI am thoroughly convinced that Cats (2019) was a money dump/tax evasion scheme by some Hollywood elites. The money trail for producing big blockbuster hits is notoriously shady so lots of money could have been easily hidden.
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THANK YOU, this has to be it. The motive for this could not have been solely "let's make a movie that will make money".
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I think this gives the movie too much credit. It reeks of expensive and yet strained on budget, it's just not good or well executed in any way.
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Swampette
This. I know at least @Aether, likes to believe that deep down, people are intelligent and sensible beings, but Occam's Razor most often proves otherwise.
My money is on "Well, the musical made boats of money, and Disney is raking hand over fist with live action CGI remakes, so....."
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TFW I've internalized capitalism so much my worldview is founded on the rational choice theory
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When you're so praxis that you can't imagine anyone being a shitty artist... that's kinda beautiful.
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Swampette
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Stories have been told of the rumored "Butthole Cut" of the movie...
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Swampette
#ReleaseTheButtholeCut is now trending
@Aether HELP how do I do a hashtag without making the text big
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YES FREE THE BUTTHOLE
(I just added a
\in front of the#, the posting system uses a subset of markdown to render the message; the#makes the text after it act as a header and the\denotes an "escape sequence" to prevent that behavior) -
Swampette
THANK U
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1) Release the original Tails design
2) Release the Snyder cut
3) Release the cat anus edit -
This is the only incantation that will save this present universe from the inevitable apocalypse we seem to be spiraling into
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This is an excerpt from my CEO's CEO in an email to the entire company about the accomplishments of our various business units during the pandemic (emphasis mine):
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i'm watching this movie tonight. am i in danger?
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I hope you aren't prone to motion sickness(?? is that the feeling I felt when bodies and faces cannot seem to act naturally together??)
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Swampette
GODDAMMIT
