inhales claps okay swampers back to our regularly scheduled spor-hold on a second-Sorry, my boss walked in and asked me about that report that is due this week. Anyway back to what I was saying.
SPORTSBALL. Yes, lots to go over since we last met. And with it being Fall, and me being the red blooded, gun toting, piss-water beer drinking, Jesus loving, Snowflake tirggering, American that I am, this means FOOTBALL. (especially since baseball is over...don't worry, the subreddit is already in PEAK off-season form)
Let's start with the football game with probably the most attention brought to it. In the a match between two teams that think so highly of themselves that they call it simply "THE Game", the Eli's from Yale overcame a half-time deficit, an hour climate long protest (peak Ivy), and a game descending literally into darkness, in order to beat Harvard in Double overtime As the final play ended with a clear Yale victory, the students rushed the field with reckless abandon. There was so much concentrated wealth that Bernie Sanders had another heart attack.
Now, onto the NFL. sigh Look, the only reason I will be making light of the situation is only because everyone made it out okay on the other side and no one was seriously hurt.
Myles "So Anyway I started Blastin" Garrett. For a little context, the inciting incident happened with 8 seconds left in a clearly finished game, between two teams with no hope of making anything of their season. Cleveland Browns DE Myles Garrett, and Pittsburgh Steelers QB MAson Rudolf (Yes, this Mason Rudolph) got in a scuffle that escalated into full-on assault and battery (better replays begin at 1:00). It was a clear call-back to the Blitz The League games of old. Things were so alarming, that the Cleveland PD was called to the stadium. Now, clearly everything was over and done with on the field, and getting the police involved was so over the top, that this made me think of the time that the police were called to a Clippers game after an on court scuffle between Chris Paul and someone else I don't care about. It's okay though, Charles Barkley and Shaq gave us the most contagious laughter inducing clip on sports TV ever.
In the aftermath, Myles Garrett was fined a lot of money and suspended indefinitely, which is essentially the harshest punishment the league can hand out. In his appeal, Garrett claimed that Rudolph used a racial slur, however after reviewing all of the video and the tape from the many, many microphones on the field, the NFL found no such evidence.
In BETTER NFL stories, there was plenty from this past week that brought a chuckle to me. First off were Minnesota WR Stefon Diggs and his cleats. Dude's a known dank memer with his cleats.
Speaking of Dank Memes, big shout-out to the Atlanta Falcons for Naruto running after a punt return for a TD (starts about halfway), as well as the Indianapolis Colts doing a Keg Stand after an O-Lineman ran the ball in for a TD. Unfortunately for some other Big Bois, their run attempts were not so lucky...
I other news, the 49ers are good, which means they suck. They are not to be underestimated.
Also this week marks 7 years since the Great ButtFumble.
Okay see you in the Week(ish) 6 post, some special things are brewing for that post!
